White lie

Lie is always a lie, no matter why or whome or for what, big or small, but lie always remains a lie. WHITE LIE a minor unimportant harmless lie, when we say a white lie we don’t want to harm anyone but instead of that we trying to protect their feelings. But its not simple, sometimes white lie is more dangerous than the truth looks like. I experienced this myself.

Once i travelling in a bus to my home from college, a girl boarded on bus and sitted next to me, i can’t look at her eye to eye contact but every time i got a chance i checked out her upside down. A pink color shaded t-shirt, little shorter showing her belly with deep neck and tight cleavage looks like measuring her breast, a skinny jeans of black colour glowing her white belly. When she turned to look at bus conductor, her hairs touched my face, smell of fresh fruits melted in my mouth. Her straight black hair shaded with golden color appealed anyone to fall in love, she suddenly turned around and catched my eyes looking at her, i feel shamed and tried to show her that i’m looking at conductor. She didn’t said anything and looked away. This was the first time i looked into her eyes, brown eyes surrounded with light collyrium, and a sweet smile on her face changed to serious and irritated expressions when she noticed me. A cute face, a perfect body, looks like i found an angel in real. I want to say her “God create you when he was free and not in hours or days but in years”.
When i finished checking out her i feel to talk with her, but i’m in low confidence. Not sure how to start, suddenly she speak out
“can we exchange seats, i’m feeling dizzy and sick, need some fresh air, can i sit on window side”,
“Sure”

and i leave the seat, she slide on it and i take her seat. In process her legs touched mine, and it felt like i touched a padded cotton.
Now i have a chance and an excuse to talk with her.
“Now you feeling good” i asked,
“little bit, but i hate to travel on bus” she replied,
“me too, where are you going”
“to my relatives at shimla”,
“oh, thats why i met you first time here”, she smiled. “And what’s your name?” I asked
“Why you are interested in my name?”

Instead of telling her name she asked a counter question from me, and my heart start shouting, not in your name I’m interested in you, i control my self and replied, “only to know my companion of this short journey” she smiled a little bit
“Meghana, and yours“,
when she said yours my mind start running faster than a train, if i told her my real name which i think is better as shit, “varun, and meghana is a very pretty name” i replied, And lied her with my cousin name varun which sturk to my head.

“Varun also a good name”

“will i call you angel, you looked like an angel, so i think its perfect nick name for you”,

“Thanks no one ever give me a nick name and angel….. Is very sweet of you” i smiled and feel like i won couple of oscars.

” you have any nick name?” She asked, “sid” another white lie from me, on our first meeting i even not told her my real name,only because i feel my name is a shit,

Before journey ends we talked a lot with each other and exchanged our contact numbers. For few months we talked with each other on call messages and after few days on video calls, soon we become a good friends or you can say more than friends but we can’t meet each other after that.

One day she called me and said she was coming to shimla and she wants to meet me and want to introduce her cousin with me. My heart start jumping when she said she wants to meet me and she first time said something about her cousin she never even showed me her picture and when she said she wanna introduce me with her cousin, it surprised me, i start planning to perpose her, and thought about every possibility, i know she was also interested in me and want me to perpose her, the thought of starting a new relationship with her excited me.
On that day, i purchased bouquet of red roses, wear a new t-shirt of blue Color which she told me her favourite color, and blue suits me too. And a faded color jeans borrowed from my friend, with a new hair style. We planned to meet in a coffee house, i went alone, and when i entered their she was sitting their with anchal, one of my college friend. When i saw anchal, i know i can’t hide my lie anymore, a thought of going back came to my mind but meghana saw me and pointing me to her table. Anchal also looked at me, and she said something with meghana. I know she told her she knows me and we both are in same college.
I went to table and shaked hand with meghana and with anchal. Meghana didn’t said anything even Hi, anchal told me that meghana is her cousin. Its hardly 15 minutes, most awkward, most difficult and it feels like hours, i tried to talk with meghana but she didn’t reply anything. And after 15 minutes she forced anchal to leave, and they both leave. It felt little good when they leave and hollow from inside.
I messaged meghana and ask her what happen?, after few minutes she replied “don’t message me or call me again.”
“Why” i ask.
In Reply she said “i do not talk to a stranger, especially the person who even lied with his name”.
I tried to talk with her many times but she never picked up my call or reply my text. I sent her many messages with clearence why i lied with her.
After one week i requested anchal to ask meghana for talk to me once. She said meghana didn’t want to talk and she told one thing that still bothers me that
“meghana loved you and she think now you betrayed her. She never showed me your pic but she always told me about you and how much she loves you”

I’m sorry meghana, i hurt your feelings, i wanna told you that day “I Love You” but i never got a chance. If you ever read this, please give me one more chance. And i swear i never gone make a lie. I still love you and always feels regret for my lie, the time spent with you on call or messages, on video call when you make different faces and when you care for me even if i had simple cold, sometimes make me laugh and cry at the same time.

A white lie, a small lie, without any intention to hurt someone, turns into a big mistake of my life, for which i regret always and even i can’t told anyone why i’m crying and for what i’m regretting.

That day if i told her my real name maybe situation was something else, maybe she would be with me. Or if she can’t we don’t have any attachment, She remain for me like others, a beautiful girl meet me in bus.

Lie is not a solution, it is a bog from which you can’t came out if you even want to.